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How I Overcame The “Gen-Z Stare” and Other Leadership Lessons From The Coffee Shop

Imagine being hired to move an organization forward, only to have twenty-something-year-old baristas transform your entire perspective on leadership. 


In February, I stepped into a new role at Local Habit Coffee Company as an “Owner Rep.” In simple terms, I represent the company and oversee business development, marketing, community outreach, and leadership. 


What I didn’t realize was I, a 34-year-old millennial, would be walking into a fast-paced third-wave coffee shop generally operated by young Generation Z adults.


In one year, Gen Z taught me three things every leader needs to know:


  1. Authority isn’t assumed — it’s earned. 

  2. Communication must be simple, human, and sometimes funny. 

  3. Psychological safety outperforms talent and experience. 


I came in extremely optimistic. I was hired to lead; the owners value my experience and expertise, so I’ll lead in the best way I know how…


Like a Millennial. 


Most people assume a ten-year age gap isn’t a big deal. I learned quickly that, in leadership, it’s massive. 


The work mentalities between Millennials and Gen Z are vastly different. Initially, I connected with them on many levels:


  • funny trends we see online

  • great places to eat and hang around town

  • debates on what’s actually going on with Justin Bieber


 Yet there were many other things I just didn’t align with them on… 


I like to show up early and stay late at work to show how committed I am. They clock in right on time and clock out on the dot when it’s time to go.

Why? Because mental health. 


I would send text messages and emails that were well thought out with details and important information.

Their response? A thumbs up emoji. 


I wanted all the feedback. Positive, negative, tell me everything so I can improve. Them? Provide the feedback, but don’t be judgy about it.

Ever. 

But one of the things they’ve taught me that actually makes me appreciate them is:

Developing a greater boundary between work and home life. 


I grew up on grind culture. Long weeks, late nights, wear it like a badge of honor.

This generation? They prioritize balance on purpose.


To them: 


  • “Work’s not going anywhere.” 

  • “Money’s not that important.” 

  • “Life’s too short.” 


And to be honest?... I agree with them. 


I learned you don’t get respect from your title with this generation. How do you impress the ones who have been raised with the world at their fingertips? 


Want to know what’s cooler to them? How you treat people. 


I shared my background, my credentials, my experience with them, trying to qualify myself and gain respect. And what did I get back?


A blank stare, totally unimpressed. 


For this generation, authority isn’t assumed, it’s earned. 


And it’s earned when they feel seen, valued, and understood. 

They’re not working with money in mind (at least, not only money), they want to know there’s a purpose connected to their work. 


So, if I wanted to present an idea and didn’t want it to be criticized as “cringe,” I had to show why it was important. Not just provide the instruction. 


But isn’t this how we all want to operate? We don’t want to follow orders blindly; we want to know what we’re doing is going to make a difference. 


If we are aiming for high performance, then a high purpose must come first. 


“Because I said so” doesn’t work for my 5-year-old. It definitely won’t work for a 22-year-old barista with matcha in hand, a Spotify playlist with music I’ve never heard, and “thoughts…”

(also known as a Ted Talk on why your leadership stinks…) 


The hardest learning curve for me? How do I properly communicate with them?


I used to think I spoke fluent English. Then I tried communicating with Gen Z. Turns out, I speak Boomer with a Millennial accent. 


I once sent a three-paragraph, carefully written, highly strategic text. Their reply?

“bet.” 


I tried to be the polished professional. Instead, they roasted my skinny jeans.


I tried to use their slang. They called me “chuegy.” 


Now I’m asking Chat-GPT what “chuegy” means while simultaneously overthinking whether “bet” is a good thing or a bad thing. 



Here's my Gen-Z Communication Crash Course: 


  1. If you can’t explain it in a sentence, you lose them. 

  2. Humor is the gateway to their hearts. 

  3. They don’t want you as a professional; they want you as a human



But here’s where things got exciting: 

When I made each team member feel valued, as if their idea mattered (it always does),


  • performance went up

  • buy-in went up

  • and our freaking sales went up.


 This is exactly what Google found in its Project Aristotle research on high-performing teams:

Psychological safety beat out talent and experience.


Teams performed better not just when they had rockstars, but when people felt safe to speak up, make mistakes, and contribute ideas without being shut down. Experience and talent matter, but they matter far less than simply being in a work environment that makes people feel safe.


Where they could share ideas without being criticized.

Where they can contribute without compromising individuality.

Where they could be led not by demands, but by curiosity. 


I’ve learned a lot in my first year in leadership, but the biggest revelation is…

This generation wants what we all want. 


  1. To be valued and seen. 

  2. To connect with a person, not a boss. 

  3. To have some structure and boundaries. 

  4. To know their work is doing something good in the world. 


The difference between them and us? They’re willing to say the quiet part out loud. 


If you didn’t know it yet, leadership is evolving, and Gen-Z is leading the charge.


If you're still operating from the old playbook:


  • authority > empathy

  • grind > boundaries

  • commands > curiosity


…you’re going to lose them.


But if you lean into what this generation values, you might find something powerful:


More creativity.

More ownership.

More momentum.

More humanity.


And maybe even fewer Gen-Z stares.



How has leading Gen-Z changed the way you lead?



Keep Making Moves,


-Chase


Planning an event, workshop, or PD around leadership, wellness, or personal growth? Let’s talk about how I can deliver actionable strategies for your students or team!



 
 
 

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© Copyright 2023 | Chase Livingston | Teen Leadership Speaker

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